Monday, December 17, 2012

Mourn with those that mourn

Sweet Mikkie,

Some thoughts have been weighing heavily on my mind since yesterday.
Yesterday, an extremely tragic thing happened at an Elementary school where many kids and some adults were killed. I was in shock when I heard the news, the tears came involuntarily as my heart literally began to ache. I felt sick to my stomach as I was trying to digest the reality of such an inexplicable evil.  I was first thinking of how each child that was brutally taken and how they must have felt, how scared they must have been. Oh, I pray that they did not suffer. I pray that angels were there to take them before they had to experience that. Just as I did with you- I can't even think about that in too much depth without falling apart.
Then, I thought about the parents. Poor parents... getting calls that I'm sure brought them to their knees and they sobbed uncontrollably thinking, "Why!" It hurts to even write about this, I feel as if I'm reliving the pain all over again. I feel their pain so deeply. They had no idea that their sweet children were not going to return home from school that day.
I then thought about all the others who survived but endured such a traumatic and devastating thing. Seeing their friends and teachers getting killed right before their eyes.

I bawled my eyes out for a while, along with so many others including your daddy. There were others, however, that were so focused on blaming the guy who did it. That's what I'm wanting to lean my focus onto, because it is a problem.

I feel so strongly, even more since you've left that we need to mourn with those that mourn! We are not just told to do so, the Lord commands us to. It is our duty. There is a time and place for everything, and right now is definitely NOT the time (nor is it ever ok) to sit here and place judgement upon the gunman or his mother, saying if she wasn't so neglectful he wouldn't have done such a thing. How in the world would they know such a thing and who gives them the right to say such things! If instead of trying to figure out the reasons the guy did this and finding someone to place the blame on and being so negative ... we focus all that energy on reaching out to all those poor grief-stricken families who just had their world come to an abrupt halt.

A certain comment from a random person mentioned she prefers not to sit around and mope and instead focus on happy things. While there is nothing really wrong with it in and of itself, there is when the point is completely missed. The point is this is a time for mourning. Many hearts are broken and aching out there.
Here's something that I've learned as I continue to grieve- we don't want to be cheered up. It should not be anyone's objective to try and make us feel better. It is a good thing to do for sure, but at moment's like this, we mourn with them letting them know we are thinking of them and share in their pain. If Jesus were on Earth again in person, thats what He would be doing, He would be by the side of each one grieving and mourn with them. He is doing so now through spirit and is working through others to show love and kindness and compassion.

What the world needs more of is love, Christlike love.

Thank you for being by my side also, sweet girl. The world is definitely going to need as many valiant angels like you with all the evil going on.


Saturday, December 15, 2012



People have been telling me how strong I am ever since you left, but I haven't been feeling so strong. This past month, after talking with certain people, I am starting to realize my own strength and that I CAN do hard things. I CAN be happy regardless of circumstances. People will undoubtedly do or say hurtful things, and they can also greatly add to your happiness, but in the end your happiness comes down to one person- you. 

I'm realizing that I can be happy, and a majority of people will take that as I'm happily healed, while very few will see the pain still behind my smile. I've talked with a few of those recently and it's just amazing to me how the spirit works through others. While I said nothing about what's on my mind and kept a happy face, they looked beyond that and saw through me. How grateful I am for those that just 'get it', who show such a great example by mourning with those that mourn. 

The Lord has blessed me with great strength, He IS my strength. Without Him, I could not do all that is set before me, it's just too overwhelming. I need Him. I love Him. He is so good to me. I'm reminded of the hymn, "Lord, I will follow thee"..... "finding strength beyond my own.." That's me to a T. 

I love you very much, my Mikkie....