Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Happy People

Dearest Mikkie,

A friend had posted this article about happiness, called "22 things happy people do differently" and I thought I'd share it because I liked it so much. I linked the title to the original post.



There are two types of people in the world: those who choose to be happy, and those who choose to be unhappy. Contrary to popular belief, happiness doesn’t come from fame, fortune, other people, or material possessions. Rather, it comes from within. The richest person in the world could be miserable while a homeless person could be right outside, smiling and content with their life. Happy people are happy because they make themselves happy. They maintain a positive outlook on life and remain at peace with themselves.
The question is: how do they do that?
It’s quite simple. Happy people have good habits that enhance their lives. They do things differently. Ask any happy person, and they will tell you that they …
1. Don’t hold grudges.
Happy people understand that it’s better to forgive and forget than to let their negative feelings crowd out their positive feelings. Holding a grudge has a lot of detrimental effects on your wellbeing, including increased depression, anxiety, and stress. Why let anyone who has wronged you have power over you? If you let go of all your grudges, you’ll gain a clear conscience and enough energy to enjoy the good things in life.
2. Treat everyone with kindness.
Did you know that it has been scientifically proven that being kind makes you happier? Every time you perform a selfless act, your brain produces serotonin, a hormone that eases tension and lifts your spirits. Not only that, but treating people with love, dignity, and respect also allows you to build stronger relationships.
3. See problems as challenges.
The word “problem” is never part of a happy person’s vocabulary. A problem is viewed as a drawback, a struggle, or an unstable situation while a challenge is viewed as something positive like an opportunity, a task, or a dare. Whenever you face an obstacle, try looking at it as a challenge.
4. Express gratitude for what they already have.
There’s a popular saying that goes something like this: “The happiest people don’t have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.” You will have a deeper sense of contentment if you count your blessings instead of yearning for what you don’t have.
5. Dream big.
People who get into the habit of dreaming big are more likely to accomplish their goals than those who don’t. If you dare to dream big, your mind will put itself in a focused and positive state.
6. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
Happy people ask themselves, “Will this problem matter a year from now?” They understand that life’s too short to get worked up over trivial situations. Letting things roll off your back will definitely put you at ease to enjoy the more important things in life.
7. Speak well of others.
Being nice feels better than being mean. As fun as gossiping is, it usually leaves you feeling guilty and resentful. Saying nice things about other people encourages you to think positive, non-judgmental thoughts.
8. Never make excuses.
Benjamin Franklin once said, “He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.” Happy people don’t make excuses or blame others for their own failures in life. Instead, they own up to their mistakes and, by doing so, they proactively try to change for the better.
9. Get absorbed into the present.
Happy people don’t dwell on the past or worry about the future. They savor the present. They let themselves get immersed in whatever they’re doing at the moment. Stop and smell the roses.
10. Wake up at the same time every morning.
Have you noticed that a lot of successful people tend to be early risers? Waking up at the same time every morning stabilizes your circadian rhythm, increases productivity, and puts you in a calm and centered state.
11. Avoid social comparison.
Everyone works at his own pace, so why compare yourself to others? If you think you’re better than someone else, you gain an unhealthy sense of superiority. If you think someone else is better than you, you end up feeling bad about yourself. You’ll be happier if you focus on your own progress and praise others on theirs.
12. Choose friends wisely.
Misery loves company. That’s why it’s important to surround yourself with optimistic people who will encourage you to achieve your goals. The more positive energy you have around you, the better you will feel about yourself.
13. Never seek approval from others.
Happy people don’t care what others think of them. They follow their own hearts without letting naysayers discourage them. They understand that it’s impossible to please everyone. Listen to what people have to say, but never seek anyone’s approval but your own. {I would add to this... seek GOD'S approval, it's the only opinion that matters- that is what will make you truly happy.}
14. Take the time to listen.
Talk less; listen more. Listening keeps your mind open to others’ wisdoms and outlooks on the world. The more intensely you listen, the quieter your mind gets, and the more content you feel.
15. Nurture social relationships.
A lonely person is a miserable person. Happy people understand how important it is to have strong, healthy relationships. Always take the time to see and talk to your family, friends, or significant other.
16. Meditate.
Meditating silences your mind and helps you find inner peace. You don’t have to be a zen master to pull it off. Happy people know how to silence their minds anywhere and anytime they need to calm their nerves. {Of course I would add to this.... Prayer. Prayer and meditation are both necessary not just one or the other.}
17. Eat well.
Junk food makes you sluggish, and it’s difficult to be happy when you’re in that kind of state. Everything you eat directly affects your body’s ability to produce hormones, which will dictate your moods, energy, and mental focus. Be sure to eat foods that will keep your mind and body in good shape.
18. Exercise.
Studies have shown that exercise raises happiness levels just as much as Zoloft does. Exercising also boosts your self-esteem and gives you a higher sense of self-accomplishment.
19. Live minimally.
Happy people rarely keep clutter around the house because they know that extra belongings weigh them down and make them feel overwhelmed and stressed out. Some studies have concluded that Europeans are a lot happier than Americans are, which is interesting because they live in smaller homes, drive simpler cars, and own fewer items.
20. Tell the truth.
Lying stresses you out, corrodes your self-esteem, and makes you unlikeable. The truth will set you free. Being honest improves your mental health and builds others’ trust in you. Always be truthful, and never apologize for it.
21. Establish personal control.
Happy people have the ability to choose their own destinies. They don’t let others tell them how they should live their lives. Being in complete control of one’s own life brings positive feelings and a great sense of self-worth.
22. Accept what cannot be changed.
Once you accept the fact that life is not fair, you’ll be more at peace with yourself. Instead of obsessing over how unfair life is, just focus on what you can control and change it for the better.

I love and agree with the points made in this. I can definitely attest to taking control of yourself and realizing that you can't change others and can only change yourself brings happiness and peace.


Love,

Mama

He lives!

Hi my sweet Mikkie,

This past Easter weekend was a beautiful one. I love Easter for many reasons. I love the symbolism of celebrating the Resurrection of Christ in the Spring season- a time of year where the world is being reborn, growing, blossoming, becoming anew. I love being able to focus on what my Savior has done for me personally. I love being reminded that death is not the end, I WILL get to see Him again, and I WILL get to see you again. I don't think my mind can quite fathom how incredibly excited I will be for that day. Excited is a complete understatement... there are no words to adequately express my feelings. All I know is that I will dream of that day every single day of my life.

"And now, of the many testimonies which have been given of Him, this is the testimony, last of all which we give of Him, that He lives!"


I Know That My Redeemer Lives
What comfort this sweet sentence gives!
He lives, he lives, who once was dead.
He lives, my ever-living Head.

He lives to bless me with his love.
He lives to plead for me above.
He lives my hungry soul to feed.
He lives to bless in time of need.

He lives to grant me rich supply.
He lives to guide me with eye.
He lives to comfort me when faint.
He lives to hear my soul's complaint.

He lives to silence all my fears.
He lives to wipe away my tears.
He lives to calm my troubled Heart.
He lives all blessings to Impart.

He lives, my kind, wise heav'nly friend.
He lives and love me to the end
He lives, and while he lives, I'll sing.
He lives, my Prophet, my Priest and King.

He lives and grants me daily breath.
He lives, and I shall conpuer death.
He lives my mansion to prepare.
He lives to bring me safely there.

He lives! All glory to his name!
He lives, my savior, still the same.
Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives:
"I Know That My Redeemer Lives"

I love you so very much sweet girl and my heart has been very heavy recently thinking of you. I miss you....

Love,

Mama

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Seek happiness from the inside

Dear Mikkie,

I said something almost exactly like this on my first post of happiness. If you want to always be happy, you cannot let it be determined by others or circumstances. Certainly does cause a roller coaster of emotions.

Happiness comes from within. It is a choice. Choose to be happy no matter what.
I choose to be happy.

Love,

Mama

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Calling All Angels

Dear sweet Mikayla,

It's been a bit more of a rough time recently, there are always bumps along the road.. Like I heard in church last week, "some choose to go downhill which is the easier way, if you really want an adventure, gi uphil....

One of my dear friends who knows of my troubles sent me a song yesterday that deeply touched my heart bringing me to sobbing. It's very beautiful, it's about someone who lost their child- which I can relate to, but the part in the song that brought me comfort at this time is talking about calling all angels for help to comfort her. That's what I do a lot! Angels both seen and unseen came to my aid.

Calling all angels
I need to feel something familiar something real.
Am I just dreaming
I close my eyes.
I feel you near and feel you inside.
Just to call your name and know that your still there.
Calling all angels.



I know God heard my prayers as I felt your angelic comfort come to my rescue.

I love you and miss you so very much. Thank you for comforting your mommy.

Love,

Mama

Calm in heart

Hello sweet girl,

My SIL recently sent me this quote and it went right along with my last post....

"Peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no trouble, noise or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart."

I pray to feel peace everyday regardless of how others are or what the circumstances
are. We all have "that kind of day" but it is possible to feel peace. I'm working on it- sometimes when God blesses me with a feeling of peace, I have to remember to focus on positive, happy things or I start feeling anxious and overwhelmed all over again.

With love,

Mama

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Happiness is a way of travel

My dear Mikkie,

Here is the start of my goal and pursuit of being happy. I'm going to share with you all things happy, positive, inspiring and uplifting. Pictures, music, quotes, stories, videos etc...

Last week I started on the hunt of gathering all things happy along with daddy, we are going to make this our focus. "If you focus your time on the positive and happy you have little time to feel sad and negative." :)

So, to start off....

"Remember, happiness is a way of travel, not a destination!"


I love you sweet girl!

Love, 

Mama

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Being Happy

My dear little girl,

I don't know how I went so long without writing you. You know when you feel so overwhelmed with things or just life in general sometimes and you just basically try and survive... you feel overwhelmed so you do nothing.

Did I tell you my goal for this year? Ya, not plural, just 1 goal. I thought about it after the year had already crept up on me and it didn't take long for me to think of it.

Be Happy.

I just want to be and stay happy. Sounds so simple, right? "If you want to be happy, then just be happy." No, sometimes it's easier said than done. 
I have so much to be grateful for and continually repeat to myself 'I can be happy even amidst trial and sorrow.' Circumstances don't have to determine your happiness.

I've been thinking about happiness a lot lately. I've found that you cannot base your happiness on others; be happy because you want to. Take charge of your happiness, don't let others decide it for you. Sometimes people and circumstances can definitely add to your happiness, but if you rely solely on others, your life will be an emotional roller coaster and it will wear you down on every level.

It's become increasingly more apparent to me that we don't have control over much in life, but we do get to choose whether we are happy or not.

Some ways I know for sure that can help in being happy are: (in addition to the obvious ones)

Be positive
Serve
Be grateful

Those are part of  my plan in achieving my goal.....

I resolve to be happy regardless of my circumstances. It can be hard but it can be done.


I sure love you, Mikkie. You are one of my greatest joys, thank you for all the happiness you brought into my life during your short little life. And you still continue to, as your memory lives on always in our hearts.

Love,

Mama

Monday, December 17, 2012

Mourn with those that mourn

Sweet Mikkie,

Some thoughts have been weighing heavily on my mind since yesterday.
Yesterday, an extremely tragic thing happened at an Elementary school where many kids and some adults were killed. I was in shock when I heard the news, the tears came involuntarily as my heart literally began to ache. I felt sick to my stomach as I was trying to digest the reality of such an inexplicable evil.  I was first thinking of how each child that was brutally taken and how they must have felt, how scared they must have been. Oh, I pray that they did not suffer. I pray that angels were there to take them before they had to experience that. Just as I did with you- I can't even think about that in too much depth without falling apart.
Then, I thought about the parents. Poor parents... getting calls that I'm sure brought them to their knees and they sobbed uncontrollably thinking, "Why!" It hurts to even write about this, I feel as if I'm reliving the pain all over again. I feel their pain so deeply. They had no idea that their sweet children were not going to return home from school that day.
I then thought about all the others who survived but endured such a traumatic and devastating thing. Seeing their friends and teachers getting killed right before their eyes.

I bawled my eyes out for a while, along with so many others including your daddy. There were others, however, that were so focused on blaming the guy who did it. That's what I'm wanting to lean my focus onto, because it is a problem.

I feel so strongly, even more since you've left that we need to mourn with those that mourn! We are not just told to do so, the Lord commands us to. It is our duty. There is a time and place for everything, and right now is definitely NOT the time (nor is it ever ok) to sit here and place judgement upon the gunman or his mother, saying if she wasn't so neglectful he wouldn't have done such a thing. How in the world would they know such a thing and who gives them the right to say such things! If instead of trying to figure out the reasons the guy did this and finding someone to place the blame on and being so negative ... we focus all that energy on reaching out to all those poor grief-stricken families who just had their world come to an abrupt halt.

A certain comment from a random person mentioned she prefers not to sit around and mope and instead focus on happy things. While there is nothing really wrong with it in and of itself, there is when the point is completely missed. The point is this is a time for mourning. Many hearts are broken and aching out there.
Here's something that I've learned as I continue to grieve- we don't want to be cheered up. It should not be anyone's objective to try and make us feel better. It is a good thing to do for sure, but at moment's like this, we mourn with them letting them know we are thinking of them and share in their pain. If Jesus were on Earth again in person, thats what He would be doing, He would be by the side of each one grieving and mourn with them. He is doing so now through spirit and is working through others to show love and kindness and compassion.

What the world needs more of is love, Christlike love.

Thank you for being by my side also, sweet girl. The world is definitely going to need as many valiant angels like you with all the evil going on.

Love,

Mama

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Strong


Mikkie,

People have been telling me how strong I am ever since you left, but I haven't been feeling so strong. This past month, after talking with certain people, I am starting to realize my own strength and that I CAN do hard things. I CAN be happy regardless of circumstances. People will undoubtedly do or say hurtful things, and they can also greatly add to your happiness, but in the end your happiness comes down to one person- you. 

I'm realizing that I can be happy, and a majority of people will take that as I'm happily healed, while very few will see the pain still behind my smile. I've talked with a few of those recently and it's just amazing to me how the spirit works through others. While I said nothing about what's on my mind and kept a happy face, they looked beyond that and saw through me. How grateful I am for those that just 'get it', who show such a great example by mourning with those that mourn. 

The Lord has blessed me with great strength, He IS my strength. Without Him, I could not do all that is set before me, it's just too overwhelming. I need Him. I love Him. He is so good to me. I'm reminded of the hymn, "Lord, I will follow thee"..... "finding strength beyond my own.." That's me to a T. 

I love you very much, my Mikkie....

Love,

Mama