Race

Hello again :)

That 5k we went to on Saturday was a sweet experience. At the beginning, the lady who started this (also a mommy of an angel baby) released some white doves. It was a beautiful sight, and chills ran up my arms.
I was so touched when I saw the book that the race is based on, "Running with the Angels" with a mom running and 2 little angel kids behind her. So sweet. That's exactly what I felt at that race- it was an unmistakable feeling that there angels there with us. As we were all walking up to the starting line and the race began that's when I felt that feeling that overwhelmed me to tears involuntarily.

Later in the race when your little brother was freezing from the quickly pouring rain that drenched both him and his blanket, a lady came up behind me and gave me a poncho to put over the stroller. Yes, I should've come more prepared and looked ahead at the weather, but I'm completely grateful to this lady, an earthly angel to me. What a life saver. I didn't see her after to give her poncho back but hopefully she felt my genuine heartfelt gratitude.

This is definitely going to be a new tradition every year!

Love,

Mama

Don't give up

Sweet Mikayla,

Much has been weighing on my mind lately, but I'll talk about one at a time. Right now what I want to focus on, and that keeps coming to my mind is about not giving up.

A dear friend lost someone to suicide 2 weeks ago and Daddy and I were crushed for them, we felt their pain as if it were our own.. it was a tough day. We don't even know them personally but could feel the heartache and longing and sorrow of the family. 

Losing a child is undoubtedly amongst the hardest things to face, I'm not undermining my own pain and grief at all, but losing a child to suicide is just....just, no words for it. Lots of us lose our children in a horrific, traumatic accident-- accident, where we know that there's most likely nothing we could have done to stop it but still we drive ourselves mad counting the ways where maybe we 'could have'. Then there's those like these people, whose child takes their own life- no accident, this was on purpose. How do you deal with that?

I'm not sure what was going through this sweet girl's mind, and I'm definitely not to judge at all about any of it; but I wish she could've seen hope, I wish she focused on those that matter, who love her- most of all God, and how He doesn't want any of us to give up, but to lean on Him, reach up and He will reach down, ask Him to carry you because you can't possibly find the will to move on right now and He will. He will because He loves you so very much. No one loves us more than He and I've felt it countless times.

As I was listening to Josh Groban's song, "Don't Give Up", I thought about how this completely applies to God speaking to us... and totally gave me the chills and brought tears to my eyes as I watched the slideshow I found:

Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
When your heart's heavy
I will lift it for you

Don't give up
Because you want to be heard
If silence keeps you
I will break it for you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved

Don't give up
It's just the hurt that you hide
When you're lost inside
I will be there to find you

Don't give up
Because you want to burn bright
If darkness blinds you
I will shine to guide you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved

When you are at the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on.
- Thomas Jefferson

I wish to everyone out there that they could know, that when life seems just too unbearable and you would do anything to end the pain, to Hang on! Don't give up! Know that you DO matter, to many people but most importantly to God. You are his most precious treasure. Turn to Him, Lean on Him, TRUST in Him, have hope!

He has been there to lift the weight off my heavy heart, He has found me when I've been lost, He's been the shining light to guide me out of the darkness, He has been there to hear my cries, to listen to my pleas and has been there to envelop me in His loving arms, blessing me with comforting peace. He IS there, He IS real, He DOES love you!

I love you so much sweet girl. I know that when I cry and beg to God for help that He sends you to help. Thanks for helping me to not give up.

Love,

Mama