Monday, January 6, 2014


Hello sweet girl,

It's that time of year again... it's just incredible that a new year is upon us and already almost into March! I love this time of year, starting new and fresh, making goals. I don't really like to do New Year Resolutions anymore, but have a specific thing I want to focus on more.

Last year I was focusing simply on being happy. What I've learned is that we are each in control of our OWN happiness. We cannot and should not give the reigns of our happiness to anyone else. And you cannot force anyone to be happy. You have to constantly choose to be happy; no matter what others do or say or think of you, you can choose to let that get to you and effect you negatively, letting them choose your emotions, or you can choose to learn to be ok with what others think and still choose to be happy and show love and be the type of person you want to be. People, especially those closest to us, can greatly influence our happiness, but the minute we allow them control over our feelings (making us feel hurt, angry, sad, etc..) we are in for an emotional roller coaster ride. We can instead think to ourselves...."why does what they said or did make me feel this way? and think it out in our minds until we feel we are ok with the reason." I think once we can become strong enough to feel, with a soft and loving heart, "I'm ok with you needing to feel angry at me." If there's something that needs to be apologized for on YOUR end, you do whatever needs to be done, but if it's on their end... all you can do is be ok with it, and show them love. Seriously that has really truly helped me to be a much happier person! Not relying on others completely for my own personal happiness- I'm happy because I want to be. It's empowering to feel that you can choose to be happy and not let what people say or think get to you, and continue to feel and show genuine love. That's what Christ is like- people were always criticizing him and judging and speaking unkindly of and to Him, but did He let them affect how He felt? He might have felt sad... for THEIR sake, but it did not change his inner happiness. He knew who He was and what His mission was. He could look past people's actions and words and see into their hearts- He loved purely and unconditionally. What an AMAZING kind of love, it just astounds me.
I'm not even in the vicinity of being close to loving like that, but I know that when I do try and practice just loving, I feel closer to Christ and I can see people through His eyes, causing me to feel the love He has for them.

My goal for this year is looking more outwardly- putting myself in other people's shoes, trying to see things from their view.

A quote from Mother Teresa came to mind, "If you judge people, you have no time to love them."
An instinct for most of us is to jump to conclusions, assuming the worst, maybe not even realizing it and not intending to think ill or have bad intentions towards the other. If something happens, say... someone cuts you off on the road or is going to slow, our immediate reaction or thought is "Wow, what a jerk" or "what's wrong with this person!"  or if the store clerk is not very friendly, we automatically think "Man, what a grump!"

What are we doing in these and many other times? We are judging negatively. We are consumed with thoughts of all the negative things that we THINK are right, leaving zero time to feel or show any love to that person. Pretty much most the time we are wrong about others anyways.

If instead we took each circumstance and stepped back for a minute before we get hijacked on the negativity train, and put ourselves in their shoes thinking what would cause a person to act like or say that? By trying to understand others and how they feel and where they may be coming from helps you to feel more sympathy and compassion for them, leaving zero time to feel negative towards them.
We all want to feel loved and understood right?

I pray I can become this type of person, be a more compassionate, loving person just because I want to, not because people are giving me reasons to (or not giving any which would make me feel inclined to withhold showing love)- I choose to show unconditional love. 

I certainly have an unconditional love for my children. Mikkie, your death has taught me a great deal about this. 
I love you as purely as a mother can. 




The Jessee Journal said...

For some reason I didn't see this post until today and that worked out to be a beautiful happenstance because I needed to read this today! It is SO HARD to be confronted with someone who sees the worst in you and jumps to conclusions. Just experiencing how horrible it felt helped me to realize HOW IMPORTANT it really truly is to always seek out/see the best in others. To show love and understanding (even if you don't get a long or have a similar perspective). It's easier said then done for sure ... but so important :) Thanks for sharing Laura!