Tuesday, November 8, 2011


Sweet Mikayla,

I've been noticing more and more over the years, especially this past year how important it is to support people. It makes me feel important and like people care when they are there to support. Some of the greatest examples to me from my very first day here has been my parents. I can't think of one recital, concert, game, birthday, or other special occasions that they've missed. They've been a constant support to me and my whole family, all 6 of us kids, and continue to do so. As I get older, I look back and realize even more the examples they've set and the lessons I've learned from them. Maybe that's one of the reasons our family is so close because we've been shown at a young age to be there for each other. I remember all the things I've gone to see my siblings in at school or church or elsewhere. I definitely think there's a feeling of importance being felt. I know I do.

I'm so grateful for people who have and continue to support me and my family, through my whole life but especially throughout this last year. As I think back to last August and yes, of course I remember that excruciating pain but I also remember how much in awe I was at the compassion and support of people. So many people! Your daddy and I commented several times that we just couldn't believe the generosity and sympathy from people. We were and still are greatly touched by the bounteous support. I knew a majority of that would fade away as time went on, life continues on and everyone has schedules and a life to attend to. But I'm still being touched by spontaneous reaching-out and comfort people are still giving. I know that there are some great and very valuable lessons to be learned from all this grief, even some that cannot be learned any other way, but one of the lessons that I've been most impacted by is Support. Those who have been there for us especially on the hardest of days has meant more to me than anything else one could say or do, just showing up and being there, not having to say or do anything, means a lot. I realize there are situations which can't allow some to be here physically, and their thoughts are greatly appreciated. I've noticed a few times, not just at my events but others, when people show up briefly then need to leave. The fact that they took the time to show up and show their support touched me.

With all these great examples, so many just within our family, it's inspiring me to be a better support. I admit I haven't been the best I could be, I could make a bigger effort to be there more for others. So here's a renewed commitment to being a better support to others. I hate to cancel on people, it's not what I like to do, I like to keep commitments, but if it's between a 'better' and 'best' situation, I would choose the most important one. So many things to do, so many choices to make, but I pray I may be blessed to make the most important ones.

One of the most important decisions I made is to marry your daddy in the Temple for time and all eternity and to have Faith, you and your little brother. And I will never forget those who showed their love and support during those times and even now as we go through just as important, not as happy, but still important times.

I'm nervously looking forward to your birthday. Your birth is more of a celebration than your death...at least on this side of the veil, it's most likely swapped over there. But still I yearn for your presence and to get a "Mikkie hug" that I love and miss so much. I ache to see your sweet face in your highchair as you eat your cake and have fun, but I will just have to do the best I can without your sweet little body. At least part of you will be here right? I'm counting on you being present at your own birthday, in spirit.

I love you my Mikayla!




Lisa R.D. said...

I loved these last posts, Laura. I can't agree more with your thoughts on support... it seems that sometimes we desire to support others and intend to, but don't follow through with our inclinations. My good friend has a thought she frequently shares from Camilla Kimball, which says, "Never suppress a generous thought." I love that idea! Thanks for the great reminder to support others and be aware of the ways that so many support us. Thinking of and praying for you today, we love you!