Conversations with Faith

Dear sweet Mikayla,

I've been noticing more how much your sister misses you. She's been sick this weekend so she is extra sad. When I tucked her in last night, she was crying. I assumed it was because she wasn't feeling well, but I asked her what was wrong. Without hesitating, I heard clearly through her sobs, "I miss Mikkie." Talk about a dagger to the heart. It broke my heart and I couldn't help but cry with her. As I sat there and stroked her face and brushed her hair out of her face, I saw you in her. She is the sweetest little girl, no wonder why I'm reminded of you when I look at her, you're a perfect little angel. I love you both more than...more than I can find words for.

Today I was talking with her about Jesus and how much He loves her. Whenever I ask if she loves Him, she says "yes, and we go see Jesus too!" I told her that she's going to grow up, have babies, grow old and then we can all be with Jesus again. To which she exclaimed "and Mikkie too!" Yes, without a doubt, our Mikkie too. "Yea let's do it!" She says excitedly. I say, 'unless the Second Coming comes sooner than we think, than we can see her even sooner." I don't think she quite understood (or the play dough won over her attention) because she said, " *sigh*, let's just go take a nap, k mom." She cracks me up. I was expecting the total opposite reaction. That would be the easy way out, just sleep life away and wake up when its all done. :)

Faith was making a hat from some of her toys, put it on her head and made another one. I asked who that one was for. "This is my Mikkie's hat." So sweet. She is always thinking of you and including you. Did I tell you what she did on Christmas morning? The first thing we did was check out the stockings, and before she looked in hers she immediately asked where yours was. Surprised, I went to get it and laid it by hers. When we go to the store and there is an empty seat next to her she reminds me "this is Mikkie's seat." I'm so extremely glad that she is remembering you. She is helping me to talk about you more, to include you in things even though you're not physically here. Family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten. Faith is doing better than me at including you in life. I think adults tend to make themselves busy more than kids. Daddy and I recognized the reason we've been watching so much tv lately is to take our minds off things; I like to forget about reality for a while. When I hear Faith say things about you and the things she does, I realize even though it hurts, I need to keep your memory alive by including you in things more, talking about you, looking at pictures, watching videos, anything to help it feel like you're still with us.

Faith has a stuffed animal froggy that when you press the hand you hear the sweetest, cutest giggle; yours Mikkie. Everytime I hear that, my ears perk up at one of the sounds that always brings a smile to my face, and now a tear.

I love you sweet Angel!

Love,

Mama