Unplugged

My sweet Mikkie,

Things have been so hectic lately, one thing after another. I’m grateful for Sundays, to be able to enjoy life at a slower pace for at least one day of the week. I definitely get more time to think and ponder.

The power has been out for a couple hours tonight. I think the last time it went out was right before we left for Bear Lake. Daddy and I talked about that day and how very grateful we were that the power went out. It forced us to get off our computers, tv’s and other electronics and spend some quality time with family. We did just that. Daddy and I didn’t know what to do with ourselves at first (how pathetic is that) til we came to the conclusion to ride bikes to the park and throw a Frisbee and play with you girls. It was one of the best nights; probably the last best night with you. It was good quality time with just the 4 of us, I will always remember and cherish that night.

Tonight we got to spend some quality time together as we went on a walk, put puzzles together, colored, read. It’s so much fun to be with Faith, even though I get pretty much ‘Mikkie-sick’ with almost everything we do; remembering what you used to do and what you would do if you were still here. It helps me though to hold her a little closer, hug her a little tighter and tell her I love her a little more. It’s ok to talk about you with her, I tell her how much she reminds me of you and ask her if she remembers certain things about you. We talk about it and laugh at some things that you did, you were quite the funny little girl, brought such light into our life. You girls light up my life in this dreary world.

Faith mentioned several times today how much she misses you. It’s like a stab in the heart every time. She said how you are going to play toys with her and all sorts of things when she sees you again. Like clockwork she asks if we’re going to see you again, making sure it’s still going to happen. If it’s at all possible, I think she’s most excited to see you, to be with her best friend again.

Sometimes I wish the power would go out more often and unplug us from the world, to get us away from the “blue screens” and focus on spending good quality time together. It’s these types of days that I remember most after all; they’re the most memorable.

I don't know about you, but I can't believe it's been 9 months since you died. I am trying to brace myself and prepare myself for the one year mark. Wow that's going to be tough. As long as I'm not anywhere near a pool I think it might be manageable.

You, sweet little baby, are greatly missed and greatly loved. I have this incredible urge to hold you in my arms and hug you tight. Will you give me one instead? I love my Mikkie hugs so very much.


Hugs and Kisses,

Mama