It can always be worse

Sweet Angel Mikkie,

Around the Thanksgiving holiday, I've been focusing more and more on what I'm grateful for. I am reminded that things could always be worse. I think I got it bad, think my life is the worst? I take a look around and realize how good I have it.

I want to share everything I am grateful for dealing with you.

I'm grateful for the day you were born. Even though you had a little colic, you were sweet as can be. I'm grateful that you caught on to nursing so quickly, saving me to have to repeat that distress.
I'm grateful that you were a pretty healthy baby.
I'm grateful for your smile, which always always brought sunshine to my soul.
I'm grateful for your laugh. What I wouldn't give to hear that precious sound again.
I'm grateful for all the "Mikkie hugs" you gave me. You were always so willing to give me one.
I'm grateful for the nights you woke up crying...giving me the opportunity to cuddle with you and rock you in my arms.
I'm grateful for all the times you've cried, so I could comfort you and hold you in my arms longer than you would normally stay.
I'm grateful that I got to know your vivacious, fun, sweet personality. You were so full of life and gave even more meaning to my life.
I'm grateful for all the noise you made, it's a much better alternative to the deafening silence.
I'm grateful for the time I got to be with you, that I was able to stay home with you and didn't have to work. I absolutely treasure that time.
I'm grateful that Faith got to make a best friend, to be with and play with all the time.
I'm grateful for all the times we got to play around with each other, with all 4 of us.
I'm grateful for the hand smudges and marker on the windows and walls from you. They mean more to me than I ever would've thought before, because they're from you.
I'm grateful to have been able to see you conquer many milestones, you were such a quick learner.
I'm grateful for the time we got to have with you, even as short as it was...it could've been even shorter, so I'm grateful to have spent that tiny fraction of your life with you.
I'm grateful that God chose me, of all people, to be your mother. I definitely got the better end of the deal.
I'm grateful that even though you went in the way I'm most petrified of, you didn't have to suffer long at all. I hate to even think about it, but I'm grateful that you weren't hanging on just for me or anyone. I'm grateful that you didn't have to be hospitalized and have it come to a point where we would pray for you to go just so we didn't have to see you suffer.
I'm grateful that you went at a time when we were surrounded by loved ones to comfort and to help us.
I'm grateful for all the pictures and videos we have to help us remember better.
I'm grateful for the Plan of Salvation, to know that I get to see you again, and receive the honor to finish raising you!! Oh what a happy day it will be!

I remembered the amazing talk President Monson gave in Conference, "The Divine Gift of Gratitude" and these bits stood out to me:

“When you walk with gratitude, you do not walk with arrogance and conceit and egotism, you walk with a spirit of thanksgiving that is becoming to you and will bless your lives.
We have all experienced times when our focus is on what we lack rather than on our blessings. Said the Greek philosopher Epictetus, “He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has."
We can lift ourselves and others as well when we refuse to remain in the realm of negative thought and cultivate within our hearts an attitude of gratitude. If ingratitude be numbered among the serious sins, then gratitude takes its place among the noblest of virtues. Someone has said that “gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.
The grateful man sees so much in the world to be thankful for, and with him the good outweighs the evil. Love overpowers jealousy, and light drives darkness out of his life.” He continued: “Pride destroys our gratitude and sets up selfishness in its place. How much happier we are in the presence of a grateful and loving soul, and how careful we should be to cultivate, through the medium of a prayerful life, a thankful attitude toward God and man!

Someone has said that “feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it." To express gratitude is gracious and honorable, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live with gratitude ever in our hearts is to touch heaven."

How true it all is! If I can only live my life with more gratitude; not just expressing it, but living it! My heart is so heavy yet so full of gratitude to my Savior. My blessings far outweigh my hardships, life really isn't as bad as I make it out to be sometimes.....things could always be worse! May I continue to give Him the gift of gratitude and in all things give thanks!

I'm so grateful for you, my sweet baby. I love, love, love you so much!

Love me,

Mama