Roots

Dear Mikkie,

It's been next to impossible to have time to sit, think and write lately. It's also been impossible to not think about you. Especially being places where we have memories with you. We're here in CT with your Grandpa and Grandma H. I can't help but think the last time we were here, you were with us. Your first plane ride (which you did very good by the way), your first time to a beach, your first time being to Rita's (best stuff in the world-put in a recommendation for those in heaven for me please, if it's not already there :)... everytime I think of Rita's, I think of you on the table, crawling over to my cup and taking a big chomp off the top with your mouth. It was the funniest thing. In fact we got a picture of it.

In the room we're staying in, I can still picture in my mind your playpen against the wall, you in it looking disgruntled because someone just disturbed your slumber, baby powder all over your head and sprinkled all over your crib along with tampons strewn all over. It was quite the sight. Faith had quite a fun time doing it. Sadly, we didn't get a picture of that.

It was little things like that, that joggled my memory and my heart sinks the same time I smile.

We talked about Job today in church, your Grandpa taught the lesson and did a great job. I thought it was very applicable. It's good to be reminded. I wish I could redo some things and be as faithful as Job was. He mentioned something about trees and their roots and asked indirectly how deep our roots are. Is our faith rooted so deep that nothing will make us waver, or do we do just enough to get by, just rooted enough that we drift away in the slightest amount of adversity? Can we hold on when the waves of adversity hit us from every angle? Not alone we can't, but with God all things are possible. I know that I've been able to make it each day because of Him....I would not have survived otherwise. I pray that my faith will never falter me and will continue to grow stronger. It has already been tested and tried more than I ever imagined but grown immensely as well.

My faith is deeply rooted in my Savior, Jesus Christ, I could never deny Him or all He has done for me. He is and has always been there for me.

Mikkie, you are gone but I know you live just as surely as He lives.

I kind of feel like I've been neglecting you by neglecting this blog. I just need to make the time to think and be still. I love you so much and think of you everyday. I sure wish you were here with us. Vacation just isn't the same anymore.... well, life isn't.

I promise I'll be back sooner.

love always,

your momma