Sunday, June 5, 2011

Remember, remember

Dear Mikkie,

I think it no coincidence that the scriptures repeat the word "Remember" so many times. If it weren't so important, it probably wouldn't be talked about so much. I am a good example of forgetting things, and need to constantly be reminded again and again....really, we're no different than children. I was just reading and came across this neat example of how we can remember to remember :)

"While thinking the other day, I glanced down at my CTR ring and thought, “If only we would remember to choose the right.” Then it dawned on me that CTR could also stand for “choose to remember.” If we remembered our true identities and divine potential, we would make better choices!

Then it hit me that CTR might also represent “Christ the Redeemer.” What power and strength would come when we were challenged with evil or temptation if we were reminded to choose to remember Christ the Redeemer.

My CTR ring took on new meaning that day. Now when I think about what these three letters can represent, I am reminded that I am not left alone to face my challenges if I choose to remember Christ the Redeemer."

That impressed me. I have been trying to remember "WWJD" What Would Jesus Do, which would help me if I could remember. So I like this....CTR, Choose To Remember. I'm going to try that out.
There's still so many things I'm learning and then learning again and again. I wonder how many times it takes for something to finally get through to a person. I was just talking with someone recently about writing things down. Every so often I'll actually write my thoughts down right when I have them, I find that highly more effective than what I usually do: thinking to myself "I'll remember this in the morning or later" but when morning or later comes I've forgotten all about it or can't remember certain details and it's lost. That's happened so many times to me it's not even funny, it's so frustrating to have a good thought or idea and then not remember it, just that it was good. I think I've finally (maybe, hopefully) come to the point where I'm serious about writing things down in the moment, I can record them much more clearly then. I think of times, like your death, that if I didn't write them down not only would I lose some of the detail (which I much rather would've gotten out back then than now) but also the feelings I felt right at that moment in time. That to me means just as much to me as the words, being able to feel emotions through words. When I met, dated and married your daddy, I was grateful I kept a journal and wrote down my feelings then. Some of it is quite amusing, to say the least, but a lot of it I totally forgot about and am grateful I have the words to look back on.

I had heard in a talk somewhere that when we receive inspiration or answers and we write them down, it shows God that we're grateful for what we've received. I'm going to try my best to do better on that. I want God to know how grateful I am for the inspiration, ideas, answers, etc I get. It could be for anything, big or small, I'm going to write it all down and sort through and assess them when I have time. At least I'll have them written down when it's clear and fresh in my mind.

One thing I have no problem remembering is you. Even so, I'm grateful I have written down my memories of you and such in a journal I kept just for you. I sometimes have to rely on that journal to remember some things, I guess sadly, my memory is blocking out more than just your death. In addition to the journal, I'm extremely grateful for all the pictures and videos we have of you!! Especially the videos to be able to remember your laughs, voice, and sweet, fun personality. Yes they bring me to tears every time, but they make me so happy! Another thing we have done to remember you... I put up a shelf in the family room where we see it everyday, of items that remind us of you: sippy cup, lock of hair, certain toys, etc. Not to mention we have pictures of you everywhere. It's next to impossible to forget you. Imagine what would happen if I did the same thing for my Savior. I just had a thought that yes I'm remembering you....but am I trying to remember Christ? I realize that I don't have very many pictures of Him. That will be another thing for me to work on, getting the Savior in our home so we will always remember Him. I think that I would automatically think of you when I remember Him.

I love you so very much! I love writing these letters to you and "talking" with you. Thanks for listening to me, not just in these letters, but in my thoughts throughout the day.

Love me,