Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Lessons learned

Dearest Mikkie,

I have learned a few things from this experience already. A couple of them are:

  • Hug and kiss more often, those you love, a little more closely, a little more tightly, just a little more every day....
  • Say "I love you" every second of every day. You can never hear it enough.
  • Spend less time worrying about things that don't really matter. Focus on the things that do matter, a lot more often.
  • Spend less time worrying about anything. As your great-grandmother, Lucille Harper, used to quote and has stuck with me since is, "For everything under the sun, there either is a solution or there is none. If there is one, hurry and find it. If there is none, nevermind it."
  • Be a little more patient. With everything and everyone, including yourself.
  • Don't wish time away. When it's gone, it's gone and you cannot get it back. Enjoy every single minute you have with your loved ones. I really like this quote, "Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." ~Robert Brault
  • Forgive and forget. Life is too short to hold grudges. Forgiveness is essential and crucial to our happiness.
  • Anger is completely pointless. It does nothing but bring regret. I hope and pray that you wil forgive me for all the times I've acted so foolishly.
  • If you make God's will your own, life will be a lot more bearable. I quickly found that out as I realized no matter how hard you pray, you cannot change God's will.
  • The things you find burdensome and tiring become part of the things you miss the most. Finding your crayon marks and finger smudges on the walls and windows don't bother me the slightest, but I rather wish I could have more.
  • Live and love life to the fullest. I'm going to try so much harder to not say "I'll do that later", because there may not be a later, or a tomorrow. I'm going to take advantage of each day and not let time slip from my hands.
I know this is probably a miniscule amount of what I'm supposed to learn, and there's probably even bigger lessons that I just can't see yet, but I know I'm not going to know and understand everything all at once. There are still some things that I'm praying for a better understanding on.
I love you Mikkie. Things pop up everyday that bring back the pain, like yesterday when Faith saw a helicopter while we were driving and said with great enthusiasm, "look a helicopter. Mikkie's back! Mikkie's back!" if only things worked that way. :)


Sarah said...

Thank you so much for sharing this. I need to hear it more than ever...all of us mothers do.
Thinking of you and praying for you every day.

Kim said...


I found you through Lisa's blog. My daughter died 7 years and 1 day ago. It was also very sudden, and very tragic.

I know how the beginning is, so many emotions, so many raw emotions....

if you ever need to talk to someone who has been there, please don't hesitate to email me.

You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.


Lisa R.D. said...

Thank you for these beautiful reminders. I love that you are able to articulate some of the impressions that you have so that we can learn from them also. I also love that you knew Lucille long enough for her to impart some of her wisdom. She was wonderful and I know that she is loving and snuggling Mikkie when you can't.

Lisa said...

As a mother of 3 little boys, my heart and now prayers go out to you and your family. Your words make me want to treasure my little ones even more, and if nothing else - that's a very good thing to come from a blog.

I can't imagine the pain you must deal with, or what it would be like to be in your shoes, but I promise that you've made an impression on me, and I will never see a helicopter quite the same way. have faith - people you don't even know are now praying for you.

--- Lisa in Provo

Jules said...

Thank you for your sweet blog. I am a friend of Traci's, and when she wrote about your little girl on fb, it hit close to home because I have a friend who has gone through the same thing with her sweet little girl, and it is so heartbreaking to me. I have 3 little girls myself and can't imagine what you and my friend are now going through, but as a mom it helps me to hold on to them a little tighter, and my testimony is strengthened from you.
If you want, she has a beautiful blog also, it is kimandaustin.blogspot.com.
You are in my prayers!