Monday, August 30, 2010


Dear Mikkie,

Some days more than others I can't believe you're actually gone. I still wait some mornings for our little routine to start. You start banging the wall with your feet to let me know you're up. Then smile extra big when I come in. Get so happy you pounce back down on your tummy while I pat your cute lil bum a million times. I lift you out and change your diaper- what a chore that was, you would never hold still; you were quite the little wiggle worm. You'd run around playing with Faith. When I start going down the stairs, you'd "tell me" (grunt) to carry you down. I kneel on the step and you jump right into my arms.

Putting you to bed was so much fun. Daddy and I tagged team, He had Faith and I had you. It's been like that ever since you were born. We'd give you a bath, where you'd like to take a little drink. Ew. I'd put you in a towel and if I didn't carry you into your room, you'd run off with those little naked bunnies around the house. I get your jammie's on and put you in your crib, giving you a big goodnight hug. You'd start to whine a little. I know exactly why. I ask daddy to throw me up a bottle and once you see it you start laughing. Confirmation that it is indeed what you wanted.
I start singing the song that popped into my head the first time I started singing to you, what reminds me of you. "I am like a star". You get this huge grin telling me you love the song. That makes me want to sing it to you again. I turn off the lights, turn on music, and as I go out the door I tell you "I love you, sleep with the angels" and blow you kisses. You blow me kisses in return. I'd then go help daddy sing your sister to sleep also.

Oh how I miss those precious routines. They weren't long enough. Some mornings and nights I'd rush to get it done so I can get to my movie, computer, craft, cleaning or whatever insignificant thing I had waiting. It can wait. Those things can always wait, they'll always be there, but loved ones may not. Time is too precious to rush these important little routines. They are some of my greatest memories with you.

I miss you terribly Mikkie baby.


your mom who no longer rushes routines.


Alison said...


Thank you so much for taking time to share your thoughts with us. I know you are not doing it "for us," but please know that there are many touched and inspired by your words and experiences.

This one hit home for me, because I too am guilty of rushing my routines with my kids. Thank you so much for the beautiful reminder.

Praying for you,

the harpers said...

Thank you. Needed this sweet reminder today.

Love you!

Doty Family said...

It's those memories that will be the most precious. What a sweet post. Thank you for sharing.

Brittany & Garrett Best said...

Thank you Laura, for reminding me what my priorities need to be. You truly are an amazing person and I am so glad that I know you. You've always been an example to me, so thank you!!

Lisa R.D. said...

Thanks for the wonderful reminder... I think we are all guilty of rushing through our routines... I know that I am going to make a conscious effort to cherish each moment.

URFAVE5 said...

Thank you again for sharing. What a very sweet post. I too appreciate the reminder, we all need the reminders.

My thoughts and prayers are with you!

Take Care,
JoLynn Ellsworth

Jenny said...

I am learning so much from you Laura. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings :) Love you!

Michelle Nielson said...

This is such an eye opener laura. You don't realize how precious little things like this are. Thanks for the reminder. U r such an amazing person!luv you!

Melita said...

Thank you for the reminder ..who hasnt rushed through things or taken things for granted . How many times have i put things off until tomorrow for some reason or other .. but like you say tomorrow may never come ... we never know what is round the next corner so enjoy the now , love a little more , hug a little more ..always let your loved ones know how you feel about them .. your blog moves me deeply and brings tears to my eyes . May God bless you and your family and may he bring you His love ans comfort .... God bless Melita xx

Jamie said...

I'm a friend of your sister-in-laws and having been touched and saddened by your tragic loss. Thank you for reminding me to treasure my routines and moments, to take time to enjoy my child. I am so sorry for your loss and pray that you will find peace and comfort!

Kayla said...

I am friends with Traci Johnson, and she invited me to be part of the day of forgiveness. I found the link to your blog... I can't imagine what you have been through. I have two little girls of my own, and I can't stop the tears that are coming in sympathy that doesn't begin to be enough. I just had to thank you for what you said in this particular post- about not rushing through routines. It's so easy to miss the "flecks of gold" in the day to day. (
I know no words can be enough; but I want you to know that what you have written has touched me, and I hope to be a better mom because of them. Thank you.