Monday, September 6, 2010

Benefit of the doubt

Dear Mikkie,

Daddy had a hard time tonight. For whatever reason I don't understand he read some comments from the news articles about you. They hurt. The mouth is a slippery slope. Words are like a dagger that pierce your soul. I can't believe the lack of compassion of some people. They have no idea. They're ignorant. Just like in our ignorance of not watching you more carefully, they in their ignorance condemn and judge us unfairly in which they have absolutely no right to. No one has any right to judge anyone. Thank goodness the world is not our judge, or I'd be doomed to hell. God is our judge and He knows our hearts. He knows my heart. He knows I would have never in my wildest dreams let something like this happen on purpose. Even though at times I still blame, He knows how my heart aches and how I pled for Him to take me instead; I begged Him to take everything I have just to get you back, to do that day over again. But I can't.
We're humans, we make mistakes, so many, but you can bet a pretty little penny that I will never make this same mistake again.
Those people are really only hurting themselves. I pray, for their sakes and their own salvation, that they will repent of the damaging words they've thought and said, for they will be judged as they have judged us.
I'm seeing more now, how important it is to give people the benefit of the doubt, no matter how bad it looks. You just never know what is going on in people's lives. I will never judge another driver speeding by.....for all I know, they could be rushing to the hospital in hopes to see their baby one last time.
How nice it will be when this life is over. Yet I still have so much to learn. So for right now I will go to bed, hopefully with you by my side, wake up in the morning and manage to take on another day.


Pedey said...

I just read the comment your husband left on the article... strong, beautiful, faith-filled words of a fragile, fractured & sorrowful parent. My heart ached that he had to defend your family from the hurtful anonymity of the internet, but at the same time I felt pride in a man I've never met, that he had the courage & strength to testify of eternal things at such a hollow time.

...From a mom of 4 in Nevada.

joni&dallassill said...

I read some of those comments- people have no idea how easily things can happen. One day we were getting ready to go somewhere and I had to put the carseats in the car and while I was doing that, my then 18 month old ran out into the road. I saw her- I also saw the car that was coming and I knew I could never get to her in time. Luckily the driver was paying attention and stopped but if they hadn't of been, I could have very easily been where you are now and I can't even imgine what that would be like. There is no blame. What happened was a tragic accident- nothing more. To point fingers is useless. You have a beautiful family and anyone with half a brain can see how much you and your husband love your children. Be strong! Hevenly father will help you through this.
thank you for sharing

URFAVE5 said...

My heart breaks for you and your husband and your family. I'm so sorry that you and your family have to hurt and go through this and then have to have these unkind ingnorant people to listen to on top of everything else that you are going through. Please know that even though there are those unkind people out there, there are also a lot of people out there that hurt for you and are praying for you and your family to have peace and comfort. Take care!

A.Larson said...

I am so sorry your husband had to go through that. Please let him know that for every ignorant comment and quick judging person out there, there are hundreds more who would never say such things, and would only offer your beautiful family the compassion and love you need right now. Blessings-

Jackie said...

You sweet family! I'm so sorry that people have to be so cruel. No one deserves that.

The Jessee Journal said...

My little sister always uses this phrase (said in a ghetto smack kind of way) "girl, you don't know my life" ... and it's weird that her silly little catch phrase has started to mean something to me. I've realized HOW LITTLE we really know about the person who lives next door, the guy speeding on the freeway or the lady behind us in line at the grocery store. We walk around and make judgements based on appearance, assumptions ... presumptions. And it's all junk. We don't know anyone else's life. We don't know their struggles, their heartaches. Sometimes I wish I did ... because then I would be able to understand another person better. But that's not realistic. We go on and struggle in our day-to-day life and the only one that likely knows all about it is our spouse. So instead we can't judge. We can't possibly judge! Because we.don't.know. The hardest part though is tuning out the voices of the ignorant. How I wish Tim hadn't read those... how I pray he can tune out their voices in his head!
I too look at the person next to me in new light. I hear the news of tragedy with a different feeling.

Sarah said...

Please don't read those! Think of the kind of person who would take the time to leave a mean comment on a news article anyways...obviously they have pretty empty lives, right? Once you read even one, they are in your brain forever, and as much as you try, they fester there. Don't let other's garbage anywhere near your mind. Especially when your mind is full of such beautiful memories of your darling little girl.

Shelly Geller said...

Oh You beautiful girl with your beautiful daughter and I am sure wonderful husband words don't begin to express the anguish I feel for you at this moment being so fresh and so new to this journey of grief and pain. My dear, be kind to yourself. Be so so kind. Be gentle and understanding. Let yourself cry and take a break from the world. You my dear are stronger than you know, you will prove it to yourself over the next few years. This what you have been called to go through is nothing short of courageous. Your sweet angel is gorgeous. She is lovely. Don't listen to those comments from naive judgemental often ruthless readers of the news. They have no idea how it can happen to anyone anywhere anytime. I pray for you that you will find comfort. I wish there was something I could do for you. I need your address. Please email it to me, my email address is If you ever need ANYTHING or ANYONE to listen and cry along the way, I will listen. We have an blog set up, it's a private blog and it's for bereaved parents. I am not sure if you are all ready a member, but if you are not and would like to be I can connect you with the administrator of the blog.
James' Mommy

lArZ said...

Thank you, thank you everyone for your kind, heartfelt words. It's true...there are far more good people out there with good hearts, and that's all I'm going to pay attention to, so thank you for helping to lift us up!