Thursday, September 9, 2010

Come what may.....

Sweet Mikkie,

Faith saw a helicopter today and ran out as fast as she could shouting "Look, Helicopter! I miss my Mikkie, I miss my Mikkie." Your sister loves you very much. I feel bad I haven't really paid much attention to how she's dealing with this, I just assume she's ok, that she doesn't really know what's going on. I think she knows a lot more than we give her credit for. She's been asking about you more lately.

I see you in her. When I play with her, I see you running next to her. When I bathe her, I see you next to her drinking the bath water which always made me cringe. When I give her a treat, I see you running up behind with your squatty legs, begging for the same thing. When I look in the rearview mirror at her, I see you, sitting next to her playing peek-a-boo and giggling. When I look into her blue eyes, I see your amazing blue eyes radiantly glowing with a brightness that could penetrate the darkest of places. When I put her to bed, I see you, bouncing around in your crib and shaking your bottle upside down getting milk all over the carpet. You are such a silly take after your mommy. :)

To say this has been hard is an understatement. But I'm comforted when I read inspiring talks such as this one I'm about to share. Even though I still don't have a perfect understanding of things, it helps me to feel a peace. I picked out some lines from the talk that stuck out most to me.

Come what may and love it

by Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin

"If we approach adversities wisely, our hardest times can be times of greatest growth, which in turn can lead toward times of greatest happiness.

You may feel singled out when adversity enters your life. You shake your head and wonder, “Why me?”

But the dial on the wheel of sorrow eventually points to each of us. At one time or another, everyone must experience sorrow. No one is exempt.

“My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;

“And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.”

The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude.

One of the blessings of the gospel is the knowledge that when the curtain of death signals the end of our mortal lives, life will continue on the other side of the veil. There we will be given new opportunities. Not even death can take from us the eternal blessings promised by a loving Heavenly Father.

He who descended below all things will come to our aid. He will comfort and uphold us. He will strengthen us in our weakness and fortify us in our distress. He will make weak things become strong.

I know why there must be opposition in all things. Adversity, if handled correctly, can be a blessing in our lives. We can learn to love it."

I can't say that I love what's happened, but I'm slowly beginning to see that this can greatly affect me....for the better or worse, make or break me. The way I can handle it correctly is to get the right kind of help and support from the right sources. Our family (both sides), friends, our Bishop, the scriptures, words of the prophets, and of course the Lord, have all been a tremendous strength to me during this time. Even when my anger blinds me from it, the help and answers are there.

I love you Mikkie! I didn't get to give you a goodbye hug, but know that I am sending hugs and kisses to you every second of every day.


your mama who's trying to handle things correctly


the harpers said...

Sweet Laura...beautiful words. I know with complete faith that our Savior is comforting you right now. I see it in you. I've been amazed at your faith, strength and courage to move forward. You've taught me many lessons just in these last few short weeks. We are praying for you everyday. Praying that the Lord will bless you and comfort you and I know he is. I love what Elder Worthlin said...
“My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;

“And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.”

What an awesome promise! The definition of "endure" is to suffer patiently. There are and will continue to be tough times, but as promised, they "will be but a small moment".

We love you all very much!

The Jessee Journal said...

that is one of the greatest talks of all time. My favorite quote you shared was the one about our tears becoming tears of rejoicing.
It makes me realize how limited my perspective is ..
To KNOW that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude? WOW. I think today I would like to look up more. Look heavenword. Pray for a better perspective and understanding of my Heavenly Father's plan of Happiness ... because I don't want to be stuck looking down at the dirt road in front of me.... and miss the promise and blessings that are all around and to come. Thanks for sharing Laura. I hope you know that we're thinking about you constantly. Thank you for lifting ME up in the midst of your sorrow.

James and Crystal said...

Laura, your family is still in our prayers every day. I think it's wonderful that you are doing this blog for you and others, it has even helped me to just love my children so much more and try and take more time with them. You are very strong and I know the Lord is with you all. We love you.

Kimberly said...

You don't know me, nor I know you...but 3 short years ago my 3 year old daughter drowned while our family was taking our "last get-away" for the summer at Lake Powell. while reading through your blog, it is amazing to me that we have had very similar feelings and said almost the exact same words at times. I am so, so incredibly sorry for your pain and for all the feelings that you are going through at this time.

Your blog is beautiful and inspiring to read. I pray that you can be comforted through this extremely difficult and painful time in your life. Thank you for being such strength to people like myself who are complete strangers.

Please know there are many prayers in your behalf....
Sending much love to you and your family!

Kim Binks

Tink said...

My dear sweet tender Laura, How I love you and Tim and Faithy. It pains me to see you have to go through so much sadness. I read your blog all the time and am not a blog commenter, but I must tell you how strong you are. You probably don't see it because you are so close to the situation, but I do. You are a woman of faith and courage. Laura, my songbird, I love you with all my heart and hope you know how very much Dad and I love you. This experience will make you not break you. You and Tim and Faithy will grow stronger and increase in faith and will be the means to help so many others. I know this because I know you. Will all my love . MOM

URFAVE5 said...

I was once again so touched by your sweet post. Thank you for sharing it.

I came across a blog from NieNie's blog (I'm assume everyone know NieNie.) and I felt very inspired to tell you to check out her blog. Maybe you two already have come across one another but if not I encourage you to check her blog out. I really feel that the two of you could be of great comfort and strength to each other. Her blog is:

Once again my thoughts and prayers are with you and with your family.

Take Care,
JoLynn Ellsworth

Lisa R.D. said...

This is one of my favorite all-time talks, for various reasons. Today, I love it because it has words that are comforting you. I know that the Lord is mindful of each of us, and particularly of you right now Laura. He loves you and Tim and Faith and Mikkie so much. I can't wait for the day that our tears become tears of rejoicing! Until then... we continue on, trying to learn and grow. Thanks for another great reminder.

lArZ said...

I greatly appreciate your comforting and sympathetic words, it's great to know i have so many friends out there to help me; whether I know you or not, you are an angel!