Come what may.....

Sweet Mikkie,

Faith saw a helicopter today and ran out as fast as she could shouting "Look, Helicopter! I miss my Mikkie, I miss my Mikkie." Your sister loves you very much. I feel bad I haven't really paid much attention to how she's dealing with this, I just assume she's ok, that she doesn't really know what's going on. I think she knows a lot more than we give her credit for. She's been asking about you more lately.

I see you in her. When I play with her, I see you running next to her. When I bathe her, I see you next to her drinking the bath water which always made me cringe. When I give her a treat, I see you running up behind with your squatty legs, begging for the same thing. When I look in the rearview mirror at her, I see you, sitting next to her playing peek-a-boo and giggling. When I look into her blue eyes, I see your amazing blue eyes radiantly glowing with a brightness that could penetrate the darkest of places. When I put her to bed, I see you, bouncing around in your crib and shaking your bottle upside down getting milk all over the carpet. You are such a silly girl....you take after your mommy. :)

To say this has been hard is an understatement. But I'm comforted when I read inspiring talks such as this one I'm about to share. Even though I still don't have a perfect understanding of things, it helps me to feel a peace. I picked out some lines from the talk that stuck out most to me.

Come what may and love it

by Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin

"If we approach adversities wisely, our hardest times can be times of greatest growth, which in turn can lead toward times of greatest happiness.

You may feel singled out when adversity enters your life. You shake your head and wonder, “Why me?”

But the dial on the wheel of sorrow eventually points to each of us. At one time or another, everyone must experience sorrow. No one is exempt.

“My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;

“And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes.”

The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude.

One of the blessings of the gospel is the knowledge that when the curtain of death signals the end of our mortal lives, life will continue on the other side of the veil. There we will be given new opportunities. Not even death can take from us the eternal blessings promised by a loving Heavenly Father.

He who descended below all things will come to our aid. He will comfort and uphold us. He will strengthen us in our weakness and fortify us in our distress. He will make weak things become strong.

I know why there must be opposition in all things. Adversity, if handled correctly, can be a blessing in our lives. We can learn to love it."

I can't say that I love what's happened, but I'm slowly beginning to see that this can greatly affect me....for the better or worse, make or break me. The way I can handle it correctly is to get the right kind of help and support from the right sources. Our family (both sides), friends, our Bishop, the scriptures, words of the prophets, and of course the Lord, have all been a tremendous strength to me during this time. Even when my anger blinds me from it, the help and answers are there.

I love you Mikkie! I didn't get to give you a goodbye hug, but know that I am sending hugs and kisses to you every second of every day.

Love,

your mama who's trying to handle things correctly